Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
