Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
