The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
