and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize