i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
