its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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