That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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