Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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