I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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