drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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