My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
