I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
