I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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