Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
