I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
