I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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