Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
