after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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