Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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