i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
