he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
