I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
