I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
