At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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