everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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