Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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