My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pooping to opera.
Randomize