Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
