you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
