Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I touched a dick in church today
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
