dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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