do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
