Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize