i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
