Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
