Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
