its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
