Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize