I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
