walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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