My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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