we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
