Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize