i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
