Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize