just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
