I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
