I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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