did you get engaged???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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