I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
