So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
