If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize