These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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