Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
