Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
