you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
