Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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