it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize