Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
