We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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