dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
